At times I worry that the haze of minutia dulls entire months of my life, so I trust the camera to register what is really there – what I feel but struggle to express. These images form a personal journal in which I document my daily life through the lens of my continually modifying state of consciousness. Reality exists in the images, even as I perceive it though an altered state of being. These photographs offer me rare moments of introspection and represent a dichotomy that I struggle with in my own life. The desire to be a self-destructive twenty-three year old or to be a good man, husband and father. The images strike a balance between beauty and brokenness.
I make pictures, usually because I feel compelled to in the hopes of better understanding others and myself. Time moves quickly and someday soon when I’m gone these pictures will be my proof that I was alive and that moments of beauty and humanity happen around us all the time.
This project was originally started in 2009 for the 16th World Press Photo Joop Swart Masterclass and is in progress.



